yes i did rewatch disneys beauty and the beast last night and yes the beast is so sweetie boy big boy big wet eyed puppy puppy boy baby boy baby puppy boy to me why do you ask
in ‘91 it’s obvious to me that maurice/mrs potts is the key ship (i mean come on look at them. white hair. serving looks @ the end ball. both vaguely….off….in a kooky way), but because Kevin Kline is so hot in the 2017 version (and because they gave Mrs Potts an unnecessary boring husband) he clearly deserves some new action. something new, something WEIRD. something like….the local beggar woman!!
adam would clearly hate this ship because his father in law is dating the woman who CURSED him. endless family dinner awkwardness. (+10 points)
agathe saves maurice when gaston leaves him for dead! why would she do that? i mean theres lots of reasons why she would do that but i can think of far worse meet-cutes (+10000 points)
they’re both outsiders in the village and you know people would be SCANDALIZED (+300 points)
i love the idea of the man who is always mourning dating the woman who cannot be mourned. a man stuck in eternal human grief being loved by a creature (and agathe is a creature) who doesn’t understand normal human ways but knows that love is the key. he is SO deeply human and she is SO deeply weird
he’s also weird!! he wouldnt judge her for cavorting with wolves in the moonlight or forgetting to blink or turning into moonlight occasionally. (+29735872756 points)
he’d probably paint her! (and then the paintings would come to life! +50 points)
they’re both hung up on ~moments~ (him and his lost life, her bestowing life back the second belle confesses love). they both go so deep, so hard, and they are both SO BROKEN
something gRIEF something MAGIC something ENDLESS something ONE MOMENT. oh my god my brain could just riff off this endlessly
yeah they def need to be a ship. give the weird little inventor man the golden-eyed goddess who treats the stars like trinkets. give the goddess a connection back to ordinary life, tidy as a music box set on a shelf. this ship this ship this SHIP
It has been a long while, but something happened yesterday that made me RUN (not walk) to this account again, and I just want to SEE everyone and TALK again about this wonderful story, and just…how is everyone? @lumiereswig? @naturepointstheway? @tinydooms? Squad? Everyone? Please tell me you’re all still here! I miss you!
how could this post be from two days ago when it is so clearly something i would have written under tasteful fanart of enjolras and grantaire going at it circa 2015
oooh that’s a really good question anon. i suspect she would still curse him, but the dimensions of the curse would be different—because he’s still an asshole, he’s just an asshole who was like “oh okay whatever” about a little old lady asking for a place to sleep! like he would probably fuck up later in the night in some way or another, which knowing adam would be like:
falls into her bed in a drunken stupor
says something rude like ‘so what do you want to eat, like crusty bread like always?’
forgets she’s there, thinks she’s an interloper, throws her out of the room he gave her literally 10 seconds ago
yells at her for tracking mud on the floor
is completely nice to her the entire night but then spends all of breakfast sharing his unwanted pretentious opinions about dostoevsky
each of these all resulting in their own kinds of fitting punishment, of course
drunken stupor curse: is constantly just having little old ladies rain on him when he’s trying to sleep
crusty bread curse: other people will always see him as whatever his first assumption of them is. suddenly realizes it’s not nice to do that when belle informs him he’s a pea-brained namby-pampy pretty-but-annoying ding-dong of a human specimen
absent-minded idiot curse: constantly is forgotten by his own staff and thrown out of his own establishment
neatfreak dipshit curse: is suddenly transformed into one of his servants and must serve a doppelganger version of himself, resulting in adam realizing that HE TRACKS MUD IN ALL THE TIME HOLY SHIT SO MUCH MUD
the dostoevsky curse (the worst failing of all): forgets all other kinds of literature and becomes completely obsessed with middle school horse girl novels. the only way for belle to break it is to convince him to read anything that’s not about Peony’s quest to get Starfire to compete in The Big Horse Show Competition just to get back at that old mean Mr. Jenkins
to be fair i don’t think that third one works quite the way agathe wants it to because while the being-forgotten bit totally works, most of the staff is way too nice to throw out any random stranger man caught lounging around the palace. in many ways it’s a very healthy experience for adam to go hang out with the servants, who think he’s just some ordinary but slightly weird guy, and hear all about their lives and this horrible prince they still like and then get peer-pressured into helping cogsworth organize his stamp collection alphabetically
Finding out that Jim Henson approached Stephen Sondheim to make a partially-puppet movie of Into the Woods and that a table read included Cher as the witch, Robin Williams and Goldie Hawn as the Baker and his Wife, Kyle MacLachlan as Cinderellaโs Prince and Steve Martin as the Wolf has sent me into mourning for this timeline.
For those wondering if this is true, Sondheim himself discusses this in his book Look, I Made a Hat: Collected Lyrics (1981-2011).
He even wrote two songs for the film: a re-write of the Prologue and a duet for the Baker and his Wife calledย โRainbows.โ
I am in so much pain now that I know this could have existed. KYLE MCLACHLAN SINGING AGONY??????
How to stan the white guy with minimal contribution to fandom’s racism problem
Look, I get it. You’re obsessed with the white guy. Maybe two of them together. And maybe your series has one or more main Black characters or Asian characters or a brown Latino star. You’re here because of the irresistible pull of that white guy (or two), who is fascinating beyond belief. His acting is above anything anyone has ever seen. When you write about him, the words just pour out.
This is a fan-centered space so I feel confident in saying — we’ve all been there. I’m not going to lie and say I’ve never been invested in white characters. There’s nothing innately wrong with liking white characters (that would be silly).
But when it comes to the characters of color in your chosen media, you have a choice.
You’re unmoved by the Black major characters and find them unrelatable? Ok. If you’re not able to keep that to yourself, prepare for a discussion about the empathy gap. Because we literally do not need content about your inability to relate to CoC if the intention is for it to stand as some kind of undebatable truth about the inferiority of CoC.
And then there are the deflections. At the first mention of sidelining CoC it comes like clockwork: They’re poorly written! The acting is sub par! The character is just not interesting! It’s got nothing to do with race!
Except when it happens over and over and over again, it does. It just does.
I can’t count how many times a conversation on Reddit or the Jedi Council Forum (or anywhere, really) started out about Finn and became all about Kylo Ren five replies in. Just today I saw the same thing on Tumblr, a post about the poor treatment of Lucas from Stranger Things, and in the comments people were talking about Billy and his trauma.
If you stan the white guy(s) and don’t want to be perceived as part of fandom’s racism problem, do not hijack threads about CoC. Not every conversation has to center your guy. Conversations that center Black characters, and I can’t stress this enough, do not take anything away from your white fave(s). Nothing at all. It’s not a competition.
Stop making excuses about why you don’t like the Black character. No one really cares until you start tearing them down with excuses. Don’t come up with meta about how the Black hero is a villain, actually, and the white bad guy is a tortured sweet baby who represents all of the forgotten children of the world. It’s not clever, it’s not good or interesting meta, it’s transparent empathy gap racism.
And, again, that will be discuseed. You can’t believe in “maximum inclusion” and draw the line at discussing racism. Responding to racism is not breaking the fandom social contract. It’s a long established part of fandom by now.
It really shouldn’t bother white guy stans so much to see a Black character in a major role in genre media to the point where they feel the need to aggressively dismiss them and their fans. Not doing that, at least, should be easy. Not doing that means that maybe that fandom critical post about racism isn’t about you.
It’s not about white guy characters or even their inevitable popularity. It’s about fan behavior toward characters and fans of color, whether it’s on Twitter, Tumblr, Reddit or AO3.
ALT
